Thursday, March 5, 2009

When Mimes Attack...


Hi David -

We'd like to schedule the Mime for the morning of Wednesday, March 4th. Here are the details:

The unknowing suspect is Bobby Lattis. He lives (address redacted).

The plan is to meet co-conspirator, Mira Gupta, (copied), in the lobby of Bobby's apartment building at *7am*. Mira will lead the Mime up to Bobby's floor, at which point Mira will depart the scene of the crime. We'd like the Mime to wait by the elevator for Bobby - who leaves his apartment between *7:15-7:30am*. The Mime will push the elevator button for Bobby and ride it down to the lobby with him.

From there, the Mime will exit the building with a very confused Bobby and follow him to the train three blocks away. The Mime will ride the subway with Bobby, mimicking him all the way to his stop in Manhattan (the train may be crowded so the Mime should take caution not to lose his target). After they get off the train, the Mime follows Bobby to his office building a half block away. The Mime will try and enter Bobby's office building, but will get stopped by security. He waves a sad goodbye.

A few questions:
-Can the mime make and give Bobby balloon animals during the journey to work? Can he spell out "Bobby" with balloons?

Please let me know if this date works. I've also attached a few pictures of Bobby and one of Mira so the Mime knows who to look for.

Thank you for making our collective practical joke dream come true - and for seeing the humor in it.



Bobby is an over zealous young fellow from Westchester. He has two brothers that look nothing like him which makes everyone think mommy may have met the milkman.

At age 29, with his young looks yet gray hair, Bobby is a perplexing lad. Bobby works at Bloomberg as a "Data Solution Specialist." He eats, breathes and smells DATA. He should be tested for performance enhancing drugs due to his excitement of real time and static data feeding into applications.

Bobby's idea of a good time is:
-Eating bacon
-Making fun of gypsies
-Quoting movies until it becomes annoying for everyone else
-Coming up with any possible question while everyone else is waiting to leave a meeting
-Dressing as a J.Crew model
-Spray tans
-He is also killer with a guitar and a microphone


**Bobby was unaware the following events were photographed**

The following takes place Wednesday, March 4, 2009 at approximately 7:15am...

Bobby awakes
08:10:21 ROBERT LATTIS: i'm rushing out the door
08:10:37 ROBERT LATTIS: and see a fking MIME waiting at my elevator

08:10:47 ROBERT LATTIS: he's waiting
08:10:56 ROBERT LATTIS: waiting for someone.. anyone
08:11:07 ROBERT LATTIS: starts following me.. imitating me.. invading my space

08:11:41 ROBERT LATTIS: he tried to get on the subway with me

Bobby continues...

08:12:05 ROBERT LATTIS: apparently a friggin mime lives in my building
08:12:19 ROBERT LATTIS: or, one somehow made it past the doorman just to make my morning SUCK
08:13:06 ROBERT LATTIS: my mom called me and the guy was literally inches from my face

08:13:11 ROBERT LATTIS: i lost my sht
08:14:10 ROBERT LATTIS: i was walking quickly and he starts fake running next to me
08:14:28 ROBERT LATTIS: i stopped him and told him to move a minimum of a block back or there was going to be a problem

The mime follows Bobby into the subway and Bobby flips out and throws him off the train.

Bobby then calls the management company of his apartment complex and tells the whole story and tells them that he thinks a mime is following him. Obviously the management company thinks he is making it up and they get in a big fight. Bobby hangs up and won't talk to anyone.

As Bobby continues to complain about the mime who was mimming around he is told that Chris Thurlow actually HIRED the mime with a photographer to follow Bobby on the morning commute.

In the words of Bobby...
(from his g-chat at approximately 10:13 am...
He does not know we have access to this...)

I'm in a rush and it's 7:20 in the morning.
not really in a good to play, but I'm nice
he's doing all sorts of irritating schticks
he jumps out of the elevator door on the ground floor and motions, leading the
way to the front exit
fortunately I take the service exit
well, wouldn't you know it.. he turns a 180 and follows me
he's right up on me, 100% invading my personal space
my mom oddly calls at that exact moment
I motion.. "enough, i'm on the phone"
but he persists
I hang up on my mom and stop him
"I'm crossing the street. YOU'RE NOT."
I cross the street.. and then he scurries to catch up
I'm in a rush, so can't really take the time to deal so I keep walking quickly
he's pretending to run next to me
playing it up..
I stop him at the next block
"I warned you once. This is the last time I'll offer that courtesy. You better back up at least one block, or we are going to have a problem."
he drops back about a quarter block, but is still very much on my trail..
mimin' me
he's waving to people..
one woman took a picture
but I'm in a rush.. I can't be bothered.. I just keep walking
"let him have it, I don't care as long as he's not directly on my junk"
I finally make it tot eh subway and think, "finally, I'm rid of this a$$hole"
I swipe my subway card
card reader says "Go"
5 steps behind me I hear the familiar "ding" of a valid subway card
the friggin mime is still on my tail!!
are you kidding me??!?!?
but my train is on its way.. I can see it far down the tracks
he's right behind me
there is a stairwell with two directions for any person to choose from
I stop again
"You're begging for me to beat the ever-loving shtt out of you! I'm going this direction. You're not. If I see you follow me, I'm going to throw you against the wall"
He waits until I make it down the stairs
but... sure as shtt..
he goes my direction
that's it..
I throw him against the wall
"You have no idea how lucky you are that my train is here. I'm getting on. My LAST warning. You're not"
I then get on
and block the doorway
he mimes a sad face
and starts waving

I call him a douche
"please stand clear of the closing doors"
the mime's arm back and forth in broad mimey goodbye motion
my middle finger extended and steam fuming from my ears
an older man is giggling next to me... "problems with mime's?" he asks
"yah apparently my building's infested. This guy seems to live on my floor!"
I called my building
I'm getting to the bottom of this mime mystery
I may hire Matlock
I'm definitely going to write an 80's metal song about it
muh muh muh muhhh mimin murderrrrrrrrr
I really should take the time to make this a well constructed short story (how about a blog? - (We took care of that for you Bobby)) for my memoirs

This blog was created SOLEY to humiliate our favorite person Bobby Lattis (please facebook friend him). Will you please discuss your ideas and thoughts on the following topics:
1. Bobby
2. Mimes
3. Funny pranks.

Thank you to all involved!

Mastermind of prank: Chris and Drew Thurlow and Jon Eklund
Mastermind of Bobby: Mira Gupta
Mastermind of Blog: Jonathan Jager-Hyman
Chief Technical Officer and Editor of Blog: Jennifer Peterson